Sorry for the Delay-- We are busy planning for a Princess :)

Let the countdown begin:                        

Currently: 23 weeks 5 days ( ear of corn )... craving peanut butter and ANYTHING SWEET!

Oh gosh. It has been forever. I am sorry-- I have no excuse except to say, hey people-- we are sort of planning for a baby. Oh, that and I went back to work. Which sucks.

I will give a quick update on what has been happening since the gender reveal--- yes she is STILL a girl. lol Sorry Eric! I have had one doc appt, and she is doing very well! Looking great and now busy as ever. She kicks all the time, and others can feel her AND see her doing it now, which is exciting!

We have started purchasing things for the nursery thanks to our incredibly generous families! I am so tempted to share some pictures with you of the item we will be expecting, but I will save it for when it is all done :) All I can say is-- I DO NOT remember putting this much work into making my house look like this.

Going back to work has been, um, enlightening. I can definitely see my energy levels drop, but that is expected. My students have been for the most part sympathetic to my new "teaching style"- which consists of constant cookie eating during lecture, rolling around in my chair instead of my usual hopping about the classroom, and oh yes, having to leave every 20 min to pee for 3 seconds. Joy. I actually have a code system now with my classroom neighbor- I knock on the wall three time which means, hey I am leaving to pee. Enter with caution.

Sooo the real point of the blog was to be honest with you and to share with old and new moms what I experience, as brutal as it may be. Here are my updates on that--

*I was asked the FIRST day of school by a student if I have a belly button ring. Um no, boo that's my protruding belly button. So I KNEW it would happen, I just didn't think this early. I don't know what I should be more horrified by-- the fact that my students are noticing my poking belly button or that they actually think I would have a belly button ring...pregnant.

* Speaking of things my students say, I have to share more:  "Mrs. Matte, are you prepared to pass something the size of a watermelon?" (why no Student X, I haven't thought of IMPENDING LABOR PAINS AND THE FACT THAT I WILL BE BIRTHING SOMETHING WHICH COULD ESSENTIALLY TEAR ME TO PIECES. But thanks for reminding me) ... ""Mrs. Matte, you look bigger every time I see you, and you look funny when you waddle" ( thanks so much Student Y... I need constant reminders that I have the center of gravity of a cow).... "Mrs. Matte, if you go into labor, can I drive you to the hospital?" ( Student Z, I don't care if you are the last person left in this city, you will never drive me or my unborn child anywhere.. considering I saw you peel out of the parking lot yesterday, nearly run over Fr. Danny, bomp your favorite Lil' Boosie jam  all while texting. I'm good... I'll walk.)
Now, of course this is all fine. I love my kids, but their comments are just so hilarious bordering on insane. I HAVE immensely appreciated the influx of cookies and treats. :) Keep em coming kids, Matte hungry.

* Where are my feet? So my bump is huge now... and I am only a little over half way, which scares me. Yea I know, I'm lucky I haven't gained weight anywhere else...blah blah. I can't see my feet people. Or anything else below happy go lucky belly button. Getting up and down has become much less graceful. Eric laughs and asks if the grunts are necessary.... um yes, Eric the grunts are necessary. I have never had to hold this much weight on my body before and just like the tennis players use the grunts for more power, as do I. I have to sike myself up for these types of movements ( and by movements, I mean standing up and sitting down)

*anddddddddddddd speaking of weight gain, doc says I am on track now. oh...yay. Ok, before everyone freaks out and reports me to child welfare.. I was doing everything I could to gain weight. And of course I am happy that I am on track now, because that means Aria is healthy. But I will not say I didn't freak out when I stepped on the scale two weeks ago and saw the number 141. Since freshman year of high school, I have never been more than 128 my whole life. So when I nonchalantly stepped on the scale and saw the devil of a number, I IMMEDIATELY broke down into tears and ran out crying to Eric. Luckily he didn't mock me TOO much, just kept reminding me I am pregnant and that it's normal. But gosh.. I have so much more to go.

* Oh here's a fun update that Eric wanted me to share----------- so I am starting to finally get those mommy instincts. I'm like alright that's what I am talking about, I am READY for this baby. Let's do this. Yea breast pumps! Yea poo poo! Yea sleepless nights! I can BE A GOOD MOM! Andddddddddddddd then I attended my nieces' birthday parties today. While my mother in law is holding my nephew, Adam ( a little over 4 mo ), I start making googoo gaagaa faces and making his smile blah blah... and he starts laughing. Great-- mother instincts affirmed. Until with no warning AT ALL he busts out into a terrifying, blood curdling scream. A scream that makes everyone at the party turn around to see who either A) dropped the baby B) cut the baby C) slapped the baby. So what do they turn around to see? Me.... sitting in front of him with this stupid look on my face like "what did I do?" I still don't know what made him do it. Eric tried to make me feel better by saying, "he just thought you were his mom at first and then got upset when he realized you weren't." Yea, Eric that's it. He totally thought I was his mom and then thought oops, wait no-- that's a murderer. All I know is my hormones sent me into a depression immediately. Everyone of course at the party was full of "aw brittany...what did you do" and "uh ohh brittany... " and "hmm let's hope that's not a routine." Yea, because that will make me feel SOOOOOOOOOOO much better when I cry myself to sleep tonight over the fact that babies see my face and immediately become inconsolable and horrified. And hearing from his parents "Wow, we have NEVER heard him cry like that before" was awesome. I just wanted to leave and cry, but I love my girls too much to leave. So instead I watched Adam carefully so as not to lock eyes again, lest I send him into another fit. Eric came to the rescue once again and basically forced me to hold him. And luckily, all was fine. But I am still scarred. I need to work my confidence back up again... it took a big hit today.


This last update needs a WARNING----   WARNING: ONLY MOMS AND SOON TO BE MOMS READ. TMI WARNING TMI ( too much information for those of you who don't own phones ). Ok, so my pregnancy symptoms have been very minimal. I still say I am one of the most blessed pregnant women out there. zero morning sickness or any physical discomfort other than your normal backache. However, I have begun experiencing the boob leakage. Yes, the sexy evidence that you are indeed making a human and will be responsible for its nutrition. Yikes I thought it wasn't supposed to happen till 3rd trimester! But helloooooooooooooo 19 weeks and leaking. It's funny because, growing up girls aren't really taught that their breasts are meant to be functional. I mean, all I knew about mine were A) they were non existent and B) they were nonexistent. No, but really. I think our society sexes them up so much that we forget their actual purpose. It was disconcerting to me, I won't lie. Suddenly the things I had been waiting on since I knew what a bra was were here...but there um, uncomfortable. Want to wear a normal bra? Ha, that's funny. I LIVE in sports bras now. oh and nursing pads? Never had heard about them, truly. THEY SUCK. I am still trying to find the best one... but ladies who are naive like me, you are basically wearing a pad in your bra. And we all know how fun THOSE are. I guess this is just one of those things I will just have to deal with... and obviously even after giving birth. Yes all you older generation people, I do want to try breastfeeding so lay off.



So that's what's happening so far :) things are definitely moving along... getting bigger by the day and really anticipating Aria's arrival ! Hopefully I can be back more often...

Stay tuned :)

Brittany & Aria Marie Matte

Sugar and Spice :)

Well as I am sure ALL of you know... we are expecting a sweet baby girl!! And here she is...

Look at those legs! Definitely has her momma in her ;) First of all, yes-- totally love at first sight. But, I will not be like those ignorant mommas who think this does not look like an alien. A beautiful alien, but an alien nonetheless. What surprised me most about her, was well she was a she .lol Seriously, from the beginning I thought she was a boy. I don't know why-- maybe because "they" say boys are easier to carry, I carried low, blah blah. According to the old wives' tales I was having a boy.... but she shows just how much truth those tales have! Ok, and I have to talk about her position in there right now. Maybe it is because I am on a crusade to end the "twerking" that has taken over the youth and our social media....but OF COURSE my cheerleaders would say "Hey Mrs. Matte, she's twerking!" I tried to fire back with "she's praying.." but the damage was done. Now every time I look at her pic, I'm like " (sigh)... already questionable dance moves." -- truthfully, as long as she doesn't have Eric's rhythm she will be alright!!! ( sorry Eric.. love u :)    )


Speaking of Eric, yes he wanted a boy. But every day since we found out he has told me how excited he is about his little girl. It makes me seriously teary eyed whenever he talks about it!!! And when the technician told us it was a girl, for some reason I immediately thought about her dancing with her daddy, her prom, her wedding... yea. I lost it. Maybe it is because I am so close with my dad, but the relationship between a daddy and his little girl is one I see as so special. And I am so excited our little girl will have Eric as her dad. He is going to be so great. If you can't tell I am so in love with this man, and he just surprises me more everyday. He is a great husband, and I know will be a great dad.

Now on to the gender reveal party--- definitely a memory I will not forget! I know a lot of people rag on them... but I don't really care! Seeing the look on my family's faces and being able to share it with them was so special. I want to thank all my family and friends for helping throw the party! I am sure you all saw... but I have to repost some of the AWESOME decorations we had...

There were plenty more but you get the idea! Everything was just perfect! I was so surprised at the turnout for our party! I really feel so blessed we have such supportive family and friends. And nearly ALLLL of our guests were team blue! I obviously can't blame them...I was one of them at a time! But of the 52 people we had come, 42 thought it was a boy!! Weird how that happens... Here is the LOSING team ( lol leave it to me to turn it into a competition...)

And the winning team... 

Mother knows best I guess... despite all the blue loving mom and Mawmaw were adamant from the beginning that I was having a baby girl. And of course, the reveal was just perfect! I am glad Eric and I knew before hand, because we got to see everyone's VERY SURPRISED reactions...

And here is probably my favorite reaction.. my mom was just ECSTATIC! Go watch the video and it mirrors a price is right announcement. Hilarious.

 And, for one last surprise, Eric and I decided to share her name! We had originally wanted to wait until she was born, but we both agreed to just get it out there so everyone can crazy with the monogramming. Don't judge- you know you like it. So.. in one of my more (and rare) creative moments, we revealed her name as well...

Aria Marie Matte. For those of you that are curious, NO... we did not name her after a Pretty Little Liars character or Game of Thrones character. Am I fans of those shows? UH YES... but no, sadly she is not named for a teenage wreck or a medieval noble lady/butt kicker. However, recent allusions to it did alert us to the name, and I could not get it out of my head. I teach and I am a cheer coach, so I know A LOT of girls. And I have known a lot of girls, having gone to three high schools and a very large college. I knew from the beginning I DID NOT want her to be named the same thing as any girl I have known . And that is hard.. so we knew from the beginning she would probably have a different name. I also wanted something super feminine as well as meaningful. Aria fit that bill perfectly. I personally do not know anyone named Aria... and in Italian it means "musical solo" (sort of perfect if you know my personal history and love of singing) and in Hebrew it means "lioness" (really important to me that she is not just called a little princess but a strong woman). And it went really well with the middle name we wanted "Marie"- both me and my mother's middle name. So there you have it.. Aria Marie. I just love it more every time I hear or say it! And very glad my family reacted well to it. It wouldn't have been changed if they hadn't, but it's nice to hear such positivity surrounding it!

And quick update- I feel her now !!! That is something I cannot describe. It's exciting and strange all at the same time. She is VERY LOW, surprisingly low actually.. so it honestly feels like nothing I have felt before. They say it is like gas bubbles or butterflies. No. Sorry. It's neither. It's more like you have one of those old toys like this in your belly that randomly twitches at intervals...

truth. And..this is not a good sign...but she decides to become very active WHEN I'M NOT. Like when I am trying to relax, nap, or sleep.... let's hope that changes in the future! 

Stay tuned for a post I am sure soon about my hopes for my baby girl. While I am ecstatic about a girl, I feel like a whole new wave of worries comes with raising a girl! I definitely will be needing to talk these out with you! 

XOXO

Brittany

16 weeks and Almost Reveal Time!

Hey Everyone!

Well we are back from the beach and one week away from finding the gender of Baby Matte!!! Here are some updates on the beach. Let me put it this way. The beach was GREAT. The trip up and back, not so much.

Ok, so the way up there. We ran out of gas. Now, before you judge hubby, it really wasn't his fault. And for me to say that is tough! NEVER TRUST your little gas reader thing in your car. We know that now. It read "120" miles left. Our exit was 75 miles away. Surely we can wait to our exit to get gas right?! WRONG. 2 miles from our exit, we ran out. Did I react well? NO. Did overreact? YES. Ok, I think it is reasonable to be frightened of running out of gas on the interstate. Now looking back, maybe suddenly being frightened of rapists and bears was a little much. You know... because rapists and bears hang out on interstates in Florida.
Right? :) Needless to say, we will now be stopping for gas anytime we have a quarter of a tank left!!!!

Thank God we were close to the exit, and Eric's dad and brother rescued us! Luckily, no harm done and we got to the condo about 1230 at night. So beach was great. The house was beautiful and spending time with Eric and family was wonderful. I wasn't looked at for being "large" like I thought I would be ( I am sure every pregnant woman thinks they are just constantly being judged) despite my ever growing belly. I was so self-conscious the first day about how I was sitting-- I kept thinking-- do people think I have rolls? or will they know this is just my freaking swollen insides folding on themselves?! After about an hour of trying to adjust my tanning position to a favorable one, I said EFF THAT and lounged like the women who really don't care. I mean it. After 30 min of not one look my way I realized everyone is just as worried about themselves as you are, so really, we are all just looking at ourselves instead of each other. Where was the realization 10 years ago?


One thing to mention though-- walking on the beach pregnant is not glamorous. No I am not huge yet, and I can pretty much function like a normal human being, but add sand to that equation, and I am suddenly carrying triplets. I was embarrassed for everyone associated with me. It was something about the sand, the heat, being barefoot, and carrying a beach bag that just didn't work for me. As my dear brother in law told me on the trip "You just aren't domesticated. But hey, put you in heels and we are good to go." I take it as a compliment.

So close to on the way HOME-- we caught about 8.5 hours worth of traffic. Yes, I was a peach on that ride home.

Overall great trip-- and the most exciting news is yet to come-- next week we finally find out the gender of BABY MATTE!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I can barely stand it. We go for our anatomy scan Thursday, and have our gender reveal party on Sunday. Don't be offended if you weren't invited. We only invited local family and close friends (I would hate for family to feel obligated to travel for a little old gender reveal). Let's be real- most of you don't want to be there anyway. You just want to stalk fb to see what it is later! I don't blame you! And I don't mean that in a sarcastic or rude way. It's kind of like wedding and baby showers. Unless you are SUPER close to the honoree, it's sort of an obligation that you wish you could just mail a present to. So really, I am doing you a favor :) And of course the blog will be updated that night I am sure!!!


I keep going back and forth on what it is!According to all the wives' tales-- we must be having a transgender baby.  And I have had SUCH an easy and blessed pregnancy, I feel like I don't even have a little personality to go off of! My belly is continuing to grow (sadly I can report now I can't lay on my stomach anymore... favorite position). Definitely adjusting to that. I can still fit in all my clothes, haven't felt baby move yet, and still feeling great. So I guess you can say I am still coasting? I really thought I would have more funny preggo stories to tell you at 16 weeks, but so far-- still pretty calm over here. I am just waiting for that one week that it's like BOOM you are pregnant. *famous last words*


Well that's all for now- I am exhausted (hosting a minicamp with 86 little girls in a gym all morning this week). If I can do this, I can do ANYTHING.

Fingers crossed that Baby Matte continues to be good and lets mommy and daddy see if you have a wee wee (sorry eric, I know you don't want me calling it that ) ---

ciao!

Exciting Updates- the crazy is evolving. But in a positive way :)

Hello everyone!


Sorry it has been so long, but between vacations and cheerleading starting up again-- I honestly have not had that much time to even think! For a long time too there was a sort of "lull" in the pregnancy.........

Between weeks 10-13, I was sort of thinking, hey... so maybe this is how it is going to be for a long time. You don't look pregnant, you are tired like one, but you aren't sick. Cool. Yea........ well that has changed. lol But only the good parts :)


I now "officially" have a bump, and that is more exciting than I honestly thought it would be!

This one has decided to stick around ( even in the morning, which was the surefire way I knew it was here to stay ), and with my new frontwards addition... some things have already begun to change in my head: 

1. I am (for now) changing my stance on the belly touching. Ok I still stick to my original opinion that in the beginning it was WEIRD. Very weird. I mean really people--- it's like I wanted to say to them "hey how's that gas and/or intestines feel to you? Because it feels like you are touching a very intimate place on me right now. And I find it strange." I was tempted to buy this---

But now that there is actually something there to touch, I don't find it as weird. I mean I'm not pumped about, but let's just say don't feel strange now about taking the plunge and touching my now rock hard belly. Seriously, it's rock hard. Why can't pre-pregnancy bellies be like this?

2. I can now say I am not a failure at baby stores. Yet. This weekend Eric and I dropped in at Babies R Us, just for a peek. Luckily, this time I didn't get a panic attack and start running for the hills. Now, did I buy anything- HA NO. But I didn't run. That's a start. But the registry "section" of the Babies R Us reminded me of SURVIVOR. First off, image people in line to meet with "registry experts"-- which, sidebar, that's a joke. These people, no offense, are there to print out your paper and guide you to where the nipples and hemorrhoid cream are. The questions I heard being asked by these moms were seriously comical.

First, you have your overanalyzing moms (which is probably the category I WILL fall into)---  i.e. "So, although I see the Graco Snugride has a high safety rating, I notice that Chicco Keyfit is also a five star seat. In your opinion, which is better for both safety, my budget, and overall comfort of the baby"... "Which of these bottles best promotes independent bottle holding. I don't want to baby my baby" (me- HUH?!) ... "If you were to rate the following breast pumps on a scale of 1-5 factoring in nipple comfort, energy saving, price, and efficiency...". Seriously yall. The poor registry man looked at her like " Lady, I don't really know much about nipples. But here's your "checklist" ( which is more like the impossible tasks of Hercules ) and your beeper to scan things. 

Then, you have the-- how do I put this--- less than enthusiastic moms who are either alone, with their mom, or with their 49580 others kids ( which confuses me, bc I thought you don't need to register then....). These women are flying around the store like they are getting paid for it, scanning EVERYTHING in sight like they will run out." An ipod? Oh yea I need that for the baby" ...    "Oh were you looking at bassinets? Well, let me just push you out of the way here and scan them all." They stressed me out.

And then you have the first time parents, young and scared. We looked like antelopes in the safari. Just sort of meandering, pushing the strollers a bit ( to feel the wheels?? lol), touching the soft blankets like "oh yea, this is the one." We pass one another and give each other a knowing nod like "I get you. I'm here for you. I understand. Good luck with your life." All that in a nod. 

The poor dads are just miserable. I am NOT going to sugarcoat Eric's behavior in Babies R Us. Was he supportive? Yes. Did he complain? NO. Did he do anything wrong at all? NO. But he looked ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE. At one point, when I was very interested in the "Belly Buds" ( ok another sidebar-- don't make fun of them. I actually want these A LOT. They are those cool earbuds you put on your belly and the baby can hear music/ other people's voices more clearly. Lay off-- I am making a baby genius in here right now..) Back to Eric-- when I was looking at the Belly Buds, I turned around to ask him a question, and he was doing that 6 year old "lay your head on the basket bar and see if your toes are still there." I knew then it was time to go. 

But, like I said-- overall I didn't panic. And I think I am prepared for the next time we go ( which hopefully we will know the gender-- keep your fingers crossed for July 23rd) we will be able to register. 

3. One last update--my first "aw are you pregnant" comment came from someone I didn't know. We were standing in line to see a movie, and an old woman asked if this was out first child. Risky on her part, I think--- I wait until I hear a woman actually say something about her pregnancy before I just bust that out. But I guess it was the first step in me accepting my newfound bump, and I am happy about it. 

Those are the happy updates I have had so far--- still feeling great. I am so lucky in that aspect of the pregnancy. We are going on vacation next week so I am SURE there will be some story to tell about the beach. (dreading the "is she pregnant or fat" looks I will get. Oh well.) Again--- pray that JUly 23rd (next appt at 16 weeks) we can see the gender !!!!

XOXO

Brittany 

A Bump In the Road (Figuratively... not Literally Yet)

Hello again...

Well. I like to keep my posts as light as possible, but I just have to share some challenges I have experiences recently.

Let me start with my registry experience. First of all, if you have never registered for a baby before, no judging. It is NOTHING like your wedding registry. With your wedding registry, you have been a functional adult for at least a couple of years and have a general idea of what you need. The hardest decision you may need to make is the difference between the comforter or the duvet cover or what color you want your bathroom rug to be. Ah, the good ole days.

Well, a baby registry is quite different. I received a "Babies R Us" Catalog in the mail, and thought hey... it might be a good idea to maybe get a head start on this whole registry thing. I don't know the gender yet and won't know for at least another month, but what's wrong with working ahead? EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH WORKING AHEAD. So already my entire philosophy of life has been turned on its head with this baby. I'm the type of person that is always ahead of the game. Heck, I have already written my year plans for school. And it's June. I know I have a problem, just let me be.

Holy hell, starting that registry was like opening Pandora's Box. I haven't felt like such an idiot since I accidentally got scheduled in that Pre Med Chem Honors class in college (which, I got an A in btw. boom).
The sheer amount of crap you "need" is soooooooooo overwhelming. And I thought I was doing well researching blogs like "Lucie's List"- which try and help you sort through the choices. Here is a glimpse of what I was met with. Now, remember, I am a FTM (first time mom), and I basically know I need a bottle and some diapers. Yea, that about does it right? I mean they had babies in cave people times right? What more can we really need..... try--


( I challenge you to read this in ONE breath)---infant car seat, car seat base, simple stroller base, strollers, newborn carrier, infant/toddler carrier, bouncers, swings, tubs, hooded towels, was cloths, shampoo, temp crib, swaddle aids, crib, crib mattress, mattress cover, crib sheet, crib bumper, blanket, WEARABLE blanket (what the eff is the difference?), baby monitor, diapers, wipes, changing kits, changing pads, changing pad covers, waterproof pads, diaper pail, disposable bags, rash cream, bottles, bottle brush, drying rack, formula, burp cloths, nursing pillow, nursing cover, breast pump, nursing bras, pumping bra, milk storage, breast pads ( by this point I am cringing), kimonos, footies, mitts, onesies, FOOTED onesies, jammies, sweaters, socks, booties, hats, play mat, soft toys, crib mobile, diaper bag, pacifiers, night light, and a WHOLE LOT OF medicine.

Yea. That's page 1. Now, I realize not ALLLLLLL of this is needed and right away, but still. And not only do they say we recommend these things. There are like 534i7543 choices for each item. Yea, an "i" was needed in that number. It's for the number "infinity." I was expressing my exasperation to my cousin ( who has two beautiful boys) and she said that yea it's overwhelming... "you walk into the store and there are 15000 nipples to chose from, 10000 strollers, 5 bouncers, and 15 pack n plays." You can imagine my face reading that text. And if I were a bad person I might just do like an "eeny, meeny, minny, mo"... but alas, I am going to have to research every product for accident and consumer reports. Damn my sensibilities.

So, I slowly closed my computer. Put the magazine in a safe, stored place where I don't have to see it every day and feel guilty about my procrastination. And went walking. For 45 minutes. To clear my mind. I mean at what point did it get that we needed all of this? And I am not saying they aren't useful. And my OCD self will want to use the list as a literal checklist, and I won't be able to sleep at night until all items are purchased. But it really made me wonder, when did it become vital that we MUST have baby kimono? And WHY THE HELL DOES THE NIPPLE MATTER? It's not like we can change our nipples?! This story is definitely too be continued... I might take a video blog of the day we ACTUALLY decide to tackle the registry.


Ok, onto the next humorous ( for all of you ) story. This weekend my wonderful husband decided to take me to New Orleans for the night because he could see I was getting pent up and needed a vacation. He is great, and we had a wonderful time, met up with some friends, and enjoyed some alone time. The next morning we decided to go shopping. We happen to walk by "Motherhood Maternity" store, and we thought it might be fun to go look around. I am not showing yet, but I thought it might be educational.

The easiest way for me to describe the experience would be a man on a tampon aisle. I tried to go in with a positive mindset, but one look at the "stretchy" AKA "your too fat to fit into anything cute" pants sent me spinning. And not to mention all the dirty looks I got from big preggo women in there who are probably thinking "why the hell is that skinny b**** in here?"I quickly pace on to the back of the store where the worst could happen. It's the preggo panties/bra section. Holy mother of God. The size of these underpants. I could fit a small village in each cheek. And all I am thinking is "I am going to have to get these one day?" And the nursing bras are terrifying. Now I picture me standing in the front of my classroom when OOPS teacher is springing a leak like a damn fire hydrant. Needless to say during this episode, Eric seemed to find the "daddy" section of the store. Like he sniffed it out or something. He was sitting in the lounge with the "daddy" magazines. I scared him half to death when I come speeding out saying quickly under my breath "we have to go. NOW". We rush out of the store and into the car as if I stole something. He looks at with amazement and asks "Are you alright?!" I just sat with the air in my face and answered quite simply "I don't think I'm ready for that yet." I will be. Necessity will deaden my senses I am sure. But not now. My sense of shame is full on working.

If that wasn't traumatic enough (if you can't tell I have a flair for the dramatic), this morning I had a full out episode at my doctor's office. Ok, so for the past four weeks I have been looking forward to my 12 week appt.. In my head, I was finally going to see something that resembled a human. It's hard in the beginning. You are going through changes (most of them not good), you feel tired, and you are deprived of a lot of things. I do not mean to sound ungrateful or unappreciative of "the miracle of life"- I am just being honest. The first tri SUCKS. and I haven't even had bad symptoms, so I can IMAGINE how much worse my episode would have been had I not had a blessed pregnancy so far. But it still sucks because you don't look or feel pregnant yet, so basically you appear to be a grumpy/tired/bloated bore. At least when I start to show I can have a physical excuse for why I am the only one sitting down at the party with a water in my hand. So yes, I was finally ready to see the fruits of my labor (pun intended) in a semi-human form. I have been clinging to the picture of my blob since 8 weeks. I was ready for that 12 week ultrasound. And then I was informed I wouldn't be having one. Instant disappointment.

Now, I am NOT ready to get into a debate here about whether or not ultrasounds are detrimental to my baby. That was done on facebook this morning. But I am saying that I don't think that ONE ultrasound is going to cause my child a deformity. I just wanted peace of mind that my kid doesn't have six arms. And all this yucky stuff you have to go through--- it would be nice to get a new pic and hold on to that for another month or so. I still don't think that is too much to ask. And I am not criticizing my doctor's office. I am sure they have their reasons. I was just disappointed. THEN the heart rate monitor wasn't working. So I basically went to the doctor to get my blood pressure taken and to hear "So are you feeling ok?" Um, yea lady I feel great. Other than the fact that I can't see my baby, not sure what the heart rate is, oh and why am I here again? I was obviously irritable.

SO I left the doc office, and burst into tears upon immediately leaving the door. I couldn't help it. I was so excited. Poor Eric once again was at a loss for words and just kept asking if I needed anything. Other than Henry Cavill in the flesh I couldn't think of anything, so he recommended I write my vents in my blog where all of you help affirm my madness. And thus you have today's entry.

Hope it wasn't to whiny...but that's my day today. On a good note-- a best friend of mine asked me to be her bridesmaid via the cutest puzzle I had to put together myself! So excited AND it's in May, so hopefully baby body will be GONEEEEEEEE.

Until we meet again.

BRITTANY XOXO

What Women Should Have Developed By Now

Ok, so when I was babysitting my newborn nephew recently, I started thinking how nice it would be if "built in" I had a few tricks up my sleeve. I started thinking even harder about it, and I realized these "mutations" shouldn't be limited to just mothers, but all women in general. (yes, this may become a feminist post-- deal with it).

#1: a third arm. Literally, a third arm. As I am changing Adam's diaper, making sure his you know what doesn't play sprinkler with the living room, I realized how advantageous a third arm would be. I mean-- think about it. The advantages it would provide with a baby of course are endless--- holding a baby in one, and maybe typing a blog entry in another? But even beyond mothers, I would sure as hell love a third arm while I am in kitchen (ok, rarely I know. Eric is the cook, I am comfortable, not threatened, by it). Or sun bathing (book, drink and phone at ONE TIME?!) Or teaching (Sure Billy, I am just going to grade your awful paper while I also shop for a new bathing suit onlineeeeeeeeeeee).

#2: Built in Google to the Brain. Women are the ultimate multi-taskers. The only arguments I will get from this are the men. We are. I really think it is something that has evolved in us from way back when we had to take care of a family of 12, keep a pristine house, and cook a 5 course dinner. I'd love to see the men in my life do THAT. (I'd love to see myself do it well in fact). So-- how have we not developed some type of quick database system in our brains to easily access information like "finding that movie time for your incompetent friend" while simultaneously "looking up that recipe" as well as "researching the latest teaching methods for Common core." IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES. Give us another 1000 years, we will get it.

#3: a temporary clone. Ok, I realize this may be far-fetched, but helping my sister in law out with her FOUR KIDS I realized... how have we not figured out a way to clone ourselves--- temporarily of course. All women, especially mothers, seriously need time for themselves. I am not even a true mom yet and I realize this one. I cannot imagine being cooped up ALL THE TIME with nothing but work and family duties. Maybe some of you enjoy that, no judgement here. But I would rather live in a world where we just momentarily clone ourselves ( or at least the dutiful part of ourselves),and leave the clone to a day of responsibilities [ take care of baby, wash those mounds of clothes we both seem to ignore, clean the dirt once again from the entrance way into the house, finally empty the dishwasher, garden, water the garden, grade those papers, and if you have some time dear clone, make dinner]. Meanwhile, mommy is out getting her pedicure, running those errands she has been meaning to ( come on, it can't be all fun), maybe getting a quick shop in, having lunch with daddy, tanning by the pool, then stopping by for social hour. Then, she comes home refreshed, ready to play with baby, and energized for the evening. Perfection. Now, of course this must be used sparingly. Even clones can't be abused. Then they start cloning themselves. And that's just crazy talk right there.

#4: Lastly, and I may piss of a few women with this one, an internal warning alarm-- for those times when our crazy just goes too far. We are all guilty of it. Spiraling out of control--- either hormone, stress, or self induced. You know those moments when you know you are going crazy, and you are having an out of body experience during it? Like you are watching yourself say some pretty awful things, and you are thinking in your head "good God, stop! Number 1 you sound so mean, Number 2, you looking trifling." But we can't stop ourselves because that is the very nature of our "freak out." Thus, during those moments of distress when we are either freaking out on hubby, our co workers, or our family/friends, it would be very nice to have a sweet little cuddly creature pop into our brains ( I'm picturing Snuggle from the fabric softener? Or maybe Ryan Gosling?)  and say, "Hey beautiful girl. It's ok-- I know you are right. You are sooo right. But I just want you to calm down a little bit, because hey girl... you're messing up your great look. And you sound like a Banshee." And ladies, I am not saying this is our fault (usually it is the fault of our raging hormones and vengeful schedule). Any of you who know me well know I will never admit I am wrong. Sorry. (It's bc I'm not... :)  )... but even if we are right during those tense talks with sweetheart, it is ok to just be a Betty White instead of a Real Housewife of New Jersey.



Well I am sure I have several more... but I would really love to hear your additions :) Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

First Time Mommy Fears

Ok, sorry I haven't written in a while: holiday, headaches, and baseball have sort of kept me away. I hope everyone had a great Father's Day weekend! I was so happy I could spend father's day with my hubby, my own dad, and my father-in-laws. So special when you can see everyone! I really missed both my Opa and my Pawpaw though.... I was thinking about both of you in heaven :)


Ok, so when I was my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, listening to their funny stories about middle of the night goofs with bottle feeding and what not, I got extremely nervous because while they were talking about "formula," "oh you heat that one up," and "milk for her..."  I go up to Eric and go, "um, I don't know any of this." And of course, he looks at me with that reassuring smile of his, and everything is better now. But that Eric smile is not around me most of the day. Especially during the summer, it's just me and my crazy all alone together like Amanda Bynes and her tweets. (If you don't get the last reference, invest in the E news app. I don't care if it's shallow. I like it).

Anyway, then I get home, and I see that new Galaxy phone commercial where the first time dad is trying to learn how to swaddle his baby while mom is out. And I'm like SHIT-- I don't even know how to FRICKEN SWADDLE. Mommy of the year over here. I'm not trying to get a million to people to suddenly rush over and start teaching me these things. In fact, I will be really pissed if everyone tries to take over my "mommy-dom" for me. I want to learn these things... and I guess I will. I just feel bad for kid #1-- the guinea pig. (Kid #1, if you are reading this one day, I'm sorry for whatever it is I am sure will happen).

So, I began to compile a list of things I really need to get the knack of before the kid pops out. Sorry for the crude idiom; it's only going to get worse from here. Here goes:
1) Breast feeding. GAH, yikes, I want to do it, not in front of ANYONE, so really back off and just wish me luck
2) proper burping
3) swaddling
4) when to use formula, when, how
5) sleep schedules ( ha, I hear all the real mommies say)
6) easing gas pains ( my poor nephew... gassy like a 500 lb man)
7) how to find that comfy spot (seriously-- how does it WANT to be held?) Of course, hubby holds my nephew like he has 8 kids himself. Adam just rests so comfy in his arms... while I can literally see Adam looking at me like "I ain't sleeping on your bony chest honey boo boo"
8) that awful booger sucker thing that looks like a medieval whoopee cushion
9) bath time- in its entirety.
10) what to do with diapers. process, rash, tightness, kind, list goes on...
11) when to move on to different foods
12) how the hell am I supposed to shower?!
13) how to dress the kid without him/her screaming because I am probably tearing off a limb


I realize most first time mom's don't know all of the above, but it still makes me nervous. And I love how the baby books think they can instruct you on these things, when I can barely get through the "deadly diseases your baby could have" section. Yea, I definitely want to read you now.

It feels better to write these fears out, but any advice is still appreciated. Don't come and swaddle my baby first though. Let me try, lol. You know when you are really trying to accomplish something and then the big know it all comes swooping in, does it in an instant, then looks at you like -- there, you go. NO. I NO GO.


I promise not all my entries will be about future baby, but it seems that is most of what takes up my mind right now.

Have a great evening :)

Why I'm Crazy

Ok, first let me say I am overwhelmed by how much support I received yesterday from everyone! I am super excited that people responded the way they did! It lets me know I am not alone!!! I especially appreciate all the current moms who eased my fears a bit! I wanted to just share with you a few or my crazy stories so far being pregnant.

Number 1: Brittany goes psycho on house. My poor, poor husband. So, as I told you yesterday-- I am most worried about time management and baby. I have literally planned out my entire year. Not a joke. I realized there are some key things I need done before school starts. Most of these revolve around house projects. So  of course, Eric comes home to a house literally torn apart. Because, among other projects, I decide to tackle all at once: cleaning out guest closet (soon to be nursery) completely, redoing hall closet, reorganizing back closet, attic runs, cleaning out medicine cabinets, bathroom cabinets, building new shelves for our shoes, cleaning through clothes drawers, going through closet for old clothes, cleaning out pantry, cleaning out fridge, redoing garden in front, and cleaning baseboards. Yea. I am really "taking it easy" this summer aren't I?

Number 2: Pinterest is the devil. So I will openly admit to being addicted to Pinterest. And I am not ashamed. I am very glad I did not have to plan a wedding during Pinterest, because I feel like it is ruining the wedding planning process. Nothing will ever be good enough anymore because we are just comparing our reality to the "money is no option" wedding extravaganzas we see on the big P. Now that I am expecting, Pinterest has become my worst enemy. I pin RIDICULOUS things--- like "ways to make your own baby food,"  "creating mermaid crochet tails for Halloween costumes," and "perfect pacifier storage DIYs." Come on, I don't even make adult food, crochet, or OWN a pacifier, yet. And thus begins my fight with Pinterest. I want to be this DIY, "my nursery is beautifully chic," "why yes, I just so happened to paint a mural on my kid's wall" kind of mom. But let's get real, I'm not. I'll be lucky if I get a piece of furniture in before December. And the SHOWER pins... let's not even go there. The multitudes of pins on gender reveal parties (which I am having, haters get over it... it's the ONE  BIT OF FUN I WANT TO HAVE FOR 9 MONTHS SO BACK OFF), baby showers, cakes, etc makes my head spin. My perfectionism tells me--- you got this girl. And the realistic voice in my head (that sounds a lot like Eric) says... "slow down girl." I guess we will see which one wins out.

Number 3: the "I'm fat stop telling me I am pregnant" phase. Ok-- I truly believe only women that are or were pregnant will relate to this. So, those of you that know me know I have always been skin and bones, mostly. I was a stick growing up, just recently within the past 5 years gained semi-lady parts, and still maintained a 125 weight, which is just about right for a 5'8 girl. Don't let the numbers fool you. I just have a fast metabolism. I would love to bore you with "yea, I totally stay fit and exercise every day and eat gluten-free." Wrong. The most exercise I would get in might have been a jog here or there, but I probably burned the most calories bar hopping with my girls. And leave me and my pizza alone. Ever since becoming pregnant, it has been a real fear-- getting larger. I KNOW it will happen ok. I GET there is a baby in there. BUT IT IS NOT BIG ENOUGH YET TO BE SHOWING. What IS showing right now is BLOAT. And a lot of it. I guess I just get irrationally pissy when people are touching my stomach going "aww yep you got a baby right there." Um, no-- that would be gas lady. And don't get me started yet on the people touching your belly. That may be a post in itself. Anyway, It is CRAZY how much you bloat! I never knew that part of pregnancy... you seriously look 5 months pregnant the first 2 months because of it. And I just feel awkward saying it is a baby. Yea, I know it is CAUSED by baby. But doesn't excess cheese sort of cause kidney stones? I'm sure my dad isn't screaming "wow that was a rough block of cheese" while he is passing a stone. It's just not the same thing right now people. I have a baby inside, yes. But it is so far in there right now I promise you aren't even close to it. So I feel incredibly bloated during summer--- when I am supposed to be in a bikini. Yea... I love when I get comments on my aforementioned "bump" every time I put on a suit. Makes me feel a whole lot more confident.

^^^ I realize Number 3 makes me sound like a whiny b word, but this is my blog, and I want to write about why I am crazy-- so at least I recognize the crazy. And I am NOT upset about being preggo whatsoever! In fact, I have had a near PERFECT pregnancy so far-- ZERO NAUSEA, little fatigue, skin still ok, etc. Major side effects: lots of peeing, emotional roller coaster, and... which brings me to Number 4--

Number 4: It's my baby, I can cry if I want to. Holy moly... the waterworks have been non stop. I cry at EVERYTHING. I cry at the usual ASPCA commercial, the military ads, sad songs, etc. But it doesn't stop there. I cried when I saw an INSURANCE commercial yesterday. Not a sentimental one, like I am talking GEICO. I thought the gecko was so cute.. which led me to think about geckos...which made me sad because so many people hate them....which made me think of little boys killing geckos...which made me think what if I have a mean nasty little boy who kills geckos?! You see the pattern. I cried my EYES out yesterday because a good family friend gave me one of his famous 2$ bills for the baby and he said "from Pawpaw Charlie". I thought, oh how sweet! First money for the baby... it can go in the nursery...that really was so sweet of him to do that... oh hell, he called himself Pawpaw Charlie, which makes me think of my grandpas, who aren't here anymore...and won't get to meet the baby.... again, you see where I am going. I assume this side effect will only get worse. It just makes my poor husband (is that the 3rd time I have said 'poor husband' already?) feel on edge ALL THE TIME. Eric is living in this sort of personal hell scared to say "pass the salt" because I may start to think about how salt kills slugs... and that's torture. Or he may feel scared to tell me I look beautiful because I then turn to him with tears in my eyes yelling "I AM HUGE, AND ONLY GOING TO GET BIGGER DONT TELL ME IM PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!" (as if it was smart of him to actually say, well honey you look great, considering.)


There are so many stories I could share, but I am probably losing most of you, so that's another post to come. Soon, I definitely want to talk about food because that is extremely interesting to me at the moment.

Hope you are enjoying the mundane (but interesting to me) facts of my life right now. PLEASE weigh in on my crazy. Confirm or denounce it, whichever you choose.

Britt. Out.

My First Post and the" Why Am I Doing This" ?

Ok, so being that I have never started a blog before, I can't promise anything.I do not care to proofread this, revise it, or do anything I tell my students to do. Hypocritical, I know. But this isn't that sort of writing. I can't even promise I will have more than one entry on this "she must be bored, it's summer" project. Let me start by saying, I started this blog for myself after I found out I was pregnant for my little on due in January. Photo below: peanut at 6 then 8 weeks

 I guess it started as a way to chronicle my experiences over the next 9 months-- both to look back on as well as mock myself when my hormones aren't raging---which they are. But that is a post for another day. I foresee this blog becoming a way I can (as cliche as it sounds) "release." I live a very busy life, despite what most people think of teachers. During the school year, I am  at school teaching my heart out till 235, cheerleading till 430 (usually), an attempted workout fit-in, come home to an evening of the following (in no particular order): grading, a form of dinner, grading, planning, cleaning, grading, showering, trying to set aside time for hubby, maybe a view of one of my favorite shows, oh and did I mention grading? During our "summer," I give my cheerleaders off in June so that I can be the crazy person I really am inside. I create an intense list the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, which outlines house projects, cleaning duties, cheerleading to do's, and school duties I want to accomplish before the fall. This list can run three-four pages on average. July rolls around and I add daily practice, more inservices, and a week long fundraiser to the list. My time starts get seriously cramped once again, and August is looming eerily ahead, complete with pep rallies, Friday night football games, and the usual beginning of year crazies. 

You may think I hate my job. On the contrary, I love it. I can't picture doing anything else. I am a nerd at heart. I enjoy the spontaneity of teaching high schoolers and the constant changing I have to go through in order to adequately teach them. The problem is my time. Because I am a perfectionist, I tend to give more time to things than I need to. 

And there is where my biggest fear is over becoming a mom: will I be able to be a good mom, a good wife, AND be good at my job-- while somehow finding time for me? I am sure that is every expectant mom's fear. But it is a real big one for me. I am not worried about my pregnancy (yet), not worried about labor (yet), not worried about hubby ( I will never be- he is fantastic). I am worried about what I am supposed to do post delivery room. 

My husband may be the greatest man on Earth. I don't know how God could create someone that is not only attractive, but patient, hardworking, understanding, funny, and loving. Go ahead-- assume that is what everyone is supposed to say. But he really is. And if you know Eric, you will agree with me. My family is awesome as well , and I am excited about my immediate family finally moving back home. My husband's side is super helpful as well, especially since my sister-in-law now has four beautiful and well behaved children (she is a database of current baby knowledge). I know they will be there for me. I am thrilled that I have excited them as much as I have by bringing news of our little baby! 

So it is not that I won't have support. Definitely not the case. It once again comes back to doubts about me. Will I be good enough? I don't exactly have the "mother" instinct, the "mother" look, or the "mother" touch. I know, I know-- "it will come." But what if it doesn't? What is my baby likes my mother and grandmother, and any other mother over me because they are better with children? Gah, I could go on for hours, but I won't. That is what I wanted to get off my chest I guess. That's what this blog is doing for me --- making me write until I see the point of my madness. 

So no judging. Publicly, anyway. I don't have the hormonal stability to cope :) Come on, I cried at an insurance commercial yesterday. Not kidding. 

Stay tuned for more irrational behavior, brought to you by yours truly.