Well. I like to keep my posts as light as possible, but I just have to share some challenges I have experiences recently.
Let me start with my registry experience. First of all, if you have never registered for a baby before, no judging. It is NOTHING like your wedding registry. With your wedding registry, you have been a functional adult for at least a couple of years and have a general idea of what you need. The hardest decision you may need to make is the difference between the comforter or the duvet cover or what color you want your bathroom rug to be. Ah, the good ole days.
Well, a baby registry is quite different. I received a "Babies R Us" Catalog in the mail, and thought hey... it might be a good idea to maybe get a head start on this whole registry thing. I don't know the gender yet and won't know for at least another month, but what's wrong with working ahead? EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH WORKING AHEAD. So already my entire philosophy of life has been turned on its head with this baby. I'm the type of person that is always ahead of the game. Heck, I have already written my year plans for school. And it's June. I know I have a problem, just let me be.
Holy hell, starting that registry was like opening Pandora's Box. I haven't felt like such an idiot since I accidentally got scheduled in that Pre Med Chem Honors class in college (which, I got an A in btw. boom).
The sheer amount of crap you "need" is soooooooooo overwhelming. And I thought I was doing well researching blogs like "Lucie's List"- which try and help you sort through the choices. Here is a glimpse of what I was met with. Now, remember, I am a FTM (first time mom), and I basically know I need a bottle and some diapers. Yea, that about does it right? I mean they had babies in cave people times right? What more can we really need..... try--
( I challenge you to read this in ONE breath)---infant car seat, car seat base, simple stroller base, strollers, newborn carrier, infant/toddler carrier, bouncers, swings, tubs, hooded towels, was cloths, shampoo, temp crib, swaddle aids, crib, crib mattress, mattress cover, crib sheet, crib bumper, blanket, WEARABLE blanket (what the eff is the difference?), baby monitor, diapers, wipes, changing kits, changing pads, changing pad covers, waterproof pads, diaper pail, disposable bags, rash cream, bottles, bottle brush, drying rack, formula, burp cloths, nursing pillow, nursing cover, breast pump, nursing bras, pumping bra, milk storage, breast pads ( by this point I am cringing), kimonos, footies, mitts, onesies, FOOTED onesies, jammies, sweaters, socks, booties, hats, play mat, soft toys, crib mobile, diaper bag, pacifiers, night light, and a WHOLE LOT OF medicine.
So, I slowly closed my computer. Put the magazine in a safe, stored place where I don't have to see it every day and feel guilty about my procrastination. And went walking. For 45 minutes. To clear my mind. I mean at what point did it get that we needed all of this? And I am not saying they aren't useful. And my OCD self will want to use the list as a literal checklist, and I won't be able to sleep at night until all items are purchased. But it really made me wonder, when did it become vital that we MUST have baby kimono? And WHY THE HELL DOES THE NIPPLE MATTER? It's not like we can change our nipples?! This story is definitely too be continued... I might take a video blog of the day we ACTUALLY decide to tackle the registry.
Ok, onto the next humorous ( for all of you ) story. This weekend my wonderful husband decided to take me to New Orleans for the night because he could see I was getting pent up and needed a vacation. He is great, and we had a wonderful time, met up with some friends, and enjoyed some alone time. The next morning we decided to go shopping. We happen to walk by "Motherhood Maternity" store, and we thought it might be fun to go look around. I am not showing yet, but I thought it might be educational.
The easiest way for me to describe the experience would be a man on a tampon aisle. I tried to go in with a positive mindset, but one look at the "stretchy" AKA "your too fat to fit into anything cute" pants sent me spinning. And not to mention all the dirty looks I got from big preggo women in there who are probably thinking "why the hell is that skinny b**** in here?"I quickly pace on to the back of the store where the worst could happen. It's the preggo panties/bra section. Holy mother of God. The size of these underpants. I could fit a small village in each cheek. And all I am thinking is "I am going to have to get these one day?" And the nursing bras are terrifying. Now I picture me standing in the front of my classroom when OOPS teacher is springing a leak like a damn fire hydrant. Needless to say during this episode, Eric seemed to find the "daddy" section of the store. Like he sniffed it out or something. He was sitting in the lounge with the "daddy" magazines. I scared him half to death when I come speeding out saying quickly under my breath "we have to go. NOW". We rush out of the store and into the car as if I stole something. He looks at with amazement and asks "Are you alright?!" I just sat with the air in my face and answered quite simply "I don't think I'm ready for that yet." I will be. Necessity will deaden my senses I am sure. But not now. My sense of shame is full on working.
If that wasn't traumatic enough (if you can't tell I have a flair for the dramatic), this morning I had a full out episode at my doctor's office. Ok, so for the past four weeks I have been looking forward to my 12 week appt.. In my head, I was finally going to see something that resembled a human. It's hard in the beginning. You are going through changes (most of them not good), you feel tired, and you are deprived of a lot of things. I do not mean to sound ungrateful or unappreciative of "the miracle of life"- I am just being honest. The first tri SUCKS. and I haven't even had bad symptoms, so I can IMAGINE how much worse my episode would have been had I not had a blessed pregnancy so far. But it still sucks because you don't look or feel pregnant yet, so basically you appear to be a grumpy/tired/bloated bore. At least when I start to show I can have a physical excuse for why I am the only one sitting down at the party with a water in my hand. So yes, I was finally ready to see the fruits of my labor (pun intended) in a semi-human form. I have been clinging to the picture of my blob since 8 weeks. I was ready for that 12 week ultrasound. And then I was informed I wouldn't be having one. Instant disappointment.
Now, I am NOT ready to get into a debate here about whether or not ultrasounds are detrimental to my baby. That was done on facebook this morning. But I am saying that I don't think that ONE ultrasound is going to cause my child a deformity. I just wanted peace of mind that my kid doesn't have six arms. And all this yucky stuff you have to go through--- it would be nice to get a new pic and hold on to that for another month or so. I still don't think that is too much to ask. And I am not criticizing my doctor's office. I am sure they have their reasons. I was just disappointed. THEN the heart rate monitor wasn't working. So I basically went to the doctor to get my blood pressure taken and to hear "So are you feeling ok?" Um, yea lady I feel great. Other than the fact that I can't see my baby, not sure what the heart rate is, oh and why am I here again? I was obviously irritable.
SO I left the doc office, and burst into tears upon immediately leaving the door. I couldn't help it. I was so excited. Poor Eric once again was at a loss for words and just kept asking if I needed anything. Other than Henry Cavill in the flesh I couldn't think of anything, so he recommended I write my vents in my blog where all of you help affirm my madness. And thus you have today's entry.
Hope it wasn't to whiny...but that's my day today. On a good note-- a best friend of mine asked me to be her bridesmaid via the cutest puzzle I had to put together myself! So excited AND it's in May, so hopefully baby body will be GONEEEEEEEE.
Until we meet again.
BRITTANY XOXO
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