Why I'm Crazy

Ok, first let me say I am overwhelmed by how much support I received yesterday from everyone! I am super excited that people responded the way they did! It lets me know I am not alone!!! I especially appreciate all the current moms who eased my fears a bit! I wanted to just share with you a few or my crazy stories so far being pregnant.

Number 1: Brittany goes psycho on house. My poor, poor husband. So, as I told you yesterday-- I am most worried about time management and baby. I have literally planned out my entire year. Not a joke. I realized there are some key things I need done before school starts. Most of these revolve around house projects. So  of course, Eric comes home to a house literally torn apart. Because, among other projects, I decide to tackle all at once: cleaning out guest closet (soon to be nursery) completely, redoing hall closet, reorganizing back closet, attic runs, cleaning out medicine cabinets, bathroom cabinets, building new shelves for our shoes, cleaning through clothes drawers, going through closet for old clothes, cleaning out pantry, cleaning out fridge, redoing garden in front, and cleaning baseboards. Yea. I am really "taking it easy" this summer aren't I?

Number 2: Pinterest is the devil. So I will openly admit to being addicted to Pinterest. And I am not ashamed. I am very glad I did not have to plan a wedding during Pinterest, because I feel like it is ruining the wedding planning process. Nothing will ever be good enough anymore because we are just comparing our reality to the "money is no option" wedding extravaganzas we see on the big P. Now that I am expecting, Pinterest has become my worst enemy. I pin RIDICULOUS things--- like "ways to make your own baby food,"  "creating mermaid crochet tails for Halloween costumes," and "perfect pacifier storage DIYs." Come on, I don't even make adult food, crochet, or OWN a pacifier, yet. And thus begins my fight with Pinterest. I want to be this DIY, "my nursery is beautifully chic," "why yes, I just so happened to paint a mural on my kid's wall" kind of mom. But let's get real, I'm not. I'll be lucky if I get a piece of furniture in before December. And the SHOWER pins... let's not even go there. The multitudes of pins on gender reveal parties (which I am having, haters get over it... it's the ONE  BIT OF FUN I WANT TO HAVE FOR 9 MONTHS SO BACK OFF), baby showers, cakes, etc makes my head spin. My perfectionism tells me--- you got this girl. And the realistic voice in my head (that sounds a lot like Eric) says... "slow down girl." I guess we will see which one wins out.

Number 3: the "I'm fat stop telling me I am pregnant" phase. Ok-- I truly believe only women that are or were pregnant will relate to this. So, those of you that know me know I have always been skin and bones, mostly. I was a stick growing up, just recently within the past 5 years gained semi-lady parts, and still maintained a 125 weight, which is just about right for a 5'8 girl. Don't let the numbers fool you. I just have a fast metabolism. I would love to bore you with "yea, I totally stay fit and exercise every day and eat gluten-free." Wrong. The most exercise I would get in might have been a jog here or there, but I probably burned the most calories bar hopping with my girls. And leave me and my pizza alone. Ever since becoming pregnant, it has been a real fear-- getting larger. I KNOW it will happen ok. I GET there is a baby in there. BUT IT IS NOT BIG ENOUGH YET TO BE SHOWING. What IS showing right now is BLOAT. And a lot of it. I guess I just get irrationally pissy when people are touching my stomach going "aww yep you got a baby right there." Um, no-- that would be gas lady. And don't get me started yet on the people touching your belly. That may be a post in itself. Anyway, It is CRAZY how much you bloat! I never knew that part of pregnancy... you seriously look 5 months pregnant the first 2 months because of it. And I just feel awkward saying it is a baby. Yea, I know it is CAUSED by baby. But doesn't excess cheese sort of cause kidney stones? I'm sure my dad isn't screaming "wow that was a rough block of cheese" while he is passing a stone. It's just not the same thing right now people. I have a baby inside, yes. But it is so far in there right now I promise you aren't even close to it. So I feel incredibly bloated during summer--- when I am supposed to be in a bikini. Yea... I love when I get comments on my aforementioned "bump" every time I put on a suit. Makes me feel a whole lot more confident.

^^^ I realize Number 3 makes me sound like a whiny b word, but this is my blog, and I want to write about why I am crazy-- so at least I recognize the crazy. And I am NOT upset about being preggo whatsoever! In fact, I have had a near PERFECT pregnancy so far-- ZERO NAUSEA, little fatigue, skin still ok, etc. Major side effects: lots of peeing, emotional roller coaster, and... which brings me to Number 4--

Number 4: It's my baby, I can cry if I want to. Holy moly... the waterworks have been non stop. I cry at EVERYTHING. I cry at the usual ASPCA commercial, the military ads, sad songs, etc. But it doesn't stop there. I cried when I saw an INSURANCE commercial yesterday. Not a sentimental one, like I am talking GEICO. I thought the gecko was so cute.. which led me to think about geckos...which made me sad because so many people hate them....which made me think of little boys killing geckos...which made me think what if I have a mean nasty little boy who kills geckos?! You see the pattern. I cried my EYES out yesterday because a good family friend gave me one of his famous 2$ bills for the baby and he said "from Pawpaw Charlie". I thought, oh how sweet! First money for the baby... it can go in the nursery...that really was so sweet of him to do that... oh hell, he called himself Pawpaw Charlie, which makes me think of my grandpas, who aren't here anymore...and won't get to meet the baby.... again, you see where I am going. I assume this side effect will only get worse. It just makes my poor husband (is that the 3rd time I have said 'poor husband' already?) feel on edge ALL THE TIME. Eric is living in this sort of personal hell scared to say "pass the salt" because I may start to think about how salt kills slugs... and that's torture. Or he may feel scared to tell me I look beautiful because I then turn to him with tears in my eyes yelling "I AM HUGE, AND ONLY GOING TO GET BIGGER DONT TELL ME IM PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!" (as if it was smart of him to actually say, well honey you look great, considering.)


There are so many stories I could share, but I am probably losing most of you, so that's another post to come. Soon, I definitely want to talk about food because that is extremely interesting to me at the moment.

Hope you are enjoying the mundane (but interesting to me) facts of my life right now. PLEASE weigh in on my crazy. Confirm or denounce it, whichever you choose.

Britt. Out.